When Revisions Become Reading

I got through material last week.

And that is as impressive as it sounds. Which is not very. I had a big plan for the beginning and this middle grade horror manuscript, and I got through it. I cut, moved, added. I made a huge mess, then cleaned it up.

But I had left myself no notes for the end. No big plan!

At the beginning of last week, with less than 100 pages left to revise, I had no idea what I was really looking for, what I was supposed to be doing.

So revising became reading. I cut a couple little scenes, I took out things that are no longer part of the story, I tried to focus on the mc’s emotions and thoughts to keep that relevant and on track for his character arc…but story-wise, I needed to see where it went.

So I wrote down what happened in each chapter and left future-me notes about what to consider on the next revision pass. Overall, the story is progressing how I want.

I think.

I’m pretty sure.

But I need time to sit with it to know for sure. Sometimes you look back and have a plan. And sometimes you have to read what you wrote to know what to do.

So I’m reading. But not just reading. I’m soaking it in. I’m making mental notes. I’m thinking. I’m giving my brain time to figure out what I need to do. And it will figure it out. I BELIEVE IN MY WEIRD CREATIVE BRAIN.

As much as revising is puzzling the story together…cutting scenes, moving scenes, adding scenes…it’s just as much reading and getting to know what you wrote, in order to help it evolve into the story it was meant to be.

Because revising is evolution.

Though because I got used to this pass being a giant mess, this quieter revising hit me and sent my brain into a panic. As you read last week. THE WHAT AM I DOING PHASE. I have calmed down and recognized that I’m doing what I need to do, that this revision pass will NOT fix all the problems and find all the solutions. This is just another step.

I’m doing this just the way I need to.

I have about 50 pages left to go through. The BIG END is coming and I felt good about that when I drafted it, so…we’ll see.

My hope is to get first pass done this week. But I have other things I have to get done too, so here’s to BELIEVING I CAN!

EVERYONE OUT THERE…

BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN!

And…

Stay weird…

Kathy

Writing and Deleting and Confusion and Things

The first revision pass continues.

I had a plan going in. I had a timeline to fix. And I got to the end of the timeline I mapped out…

And I stared at the screen.

At the scraps I left after cutting out and moving scenes…

Just pieces of stuff. My brain fizzled and panicked. What was I doing? What should I do? HAVE I COMPLETELY MESSED THIS ALL UP?

I mean, that whole OMG I CAN’T WRITE AND THESE REVISIONS AREN’T MAKING ANYTHING BETTER…is a mood around this time in the process. A MOOD. Happens every time. Kinda gotta let it have its moment, then move on.

So that’s what happened for a few hours. Then I got over it. This is the first pass, it’s going to be a mess. But I have to keep moving and trusting my gut.

When I began, I knew the beginning was wrong. I FELT IT DEEP IN MY BLACKENED SOUL. And I figured out how to fix it…I think… And I did it. I worked through the mess and put it in order. Of course the next revision pass will be the test, letting me read it all and see what I did. But that is a problem for future-me!

Now, it’s getting through the end, which I feel pretty good about. So it’s just checking continuity, making sure the scenes add something, and building to the BIG ENDING.

I’ll just set this self-doubt and panic over here on the floor…and step on it a bit…then keep going.

This draft started at about 66,ooo words. I want it to be around 57-59,000 words, so I have a bit more to get rid of, which is fine. I’m not worried. My cut file is around 7,000 words, and then there’s the stuff I just deleted because I knew no one should see it.

So, yes, if there are any math people…

66,000 – 7,000 =/= 61,000…

I have added scenes, but being more than halfway through the ms, I’m doing good on words.

As April comes to an end…and I will not get this revision pass done by the end of the month WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED, I will not be upset or frustrated or eat my weight in cookies. I will get this pass done when I get it done.

For that is the way. THE REVISION WAY.

Please, if your first revision pass is a mess, if you are living in the land of doubt and frustration, if you are writing your way through the fog…join me in the party.

Stay weird,

Kathy

The Revising Gods Smiled Upon Me…Mostly

Last week I got through a few chapters of this first revision pass for my middle grade horror Within the Black.

First of all, let me admit that I had a self-imposed deadline…but I believe that is going to pass by, waving and laughing while pointing ink and blood-covered fingers at me.

And that’s okay.

I finally accepted that this pass is going to take as long as it takes and I’m going to have to go with it. I forget that first revision passes are hard. I have a lot of timeline fixing to do. I have so many scenes out of order and, though I thought I could just fix it lickity split, sadly, I have so many other scenes scattered throughout, that there’s much more to think about. As I left myself notes as to how this whole beginning should go, I forgot a lot of what I wrote. So as I go through thinking THIS IS HOW THIS SHALL GO AND THIS SCENE IS NEXT. A scene appears out of the nothingness and says HI, WHAT ABOUT ME?

Some of those scenes I leave…they deserve to be there and I can’t deny it.

Some scenes I like…and save to use later, or work in parts of them and forget the rest.

Other scenes need to go.

I came across one of these scenes last week and cut it out. Took it and set it in my save file and went on my merry way. As I was linking the new words into the old, carefully stitching it in, I moved past where I cut words and got to the end of the chapter…

And GREAT HOLY CHEEZUS, it created the perfect new little chapter, ending right where I thought it should. Beautiful.

I took my little victory and headed into the next chapter, basking in the glow of HOW AWESOME I WAS…

Only to realize that the character was now talking about information he learned in THE SCENE THAT I CUT OUT.

Oh, writing…you’re so funny.

Just hilarious.

And I chuckled. And stared at the screen. Then deleted all that information that he thought he knew and let another character fill him in on the details.

Hey, writers find a way.

Overall, I’d say revising went well last week. I feel good about it.

I’ve got the manuscript down to 61,000 words now…I’d love it to be 57-58,000-ish, and I have plenty of time to get it there. I’m not quite halfway through the manuscript, and hope to get there this week.

Time will tell. And hopefully more wondrous moments of HOLY MOLY THAT WORKED PERFECTLY will strike.

Hope is what I have, kids.

Stay weird,

Kathy

The Great Character Question

Characters. We have our main character. Then we add other ones. Because people don’t exist in solitude…well, there are times they do I suppose, but mostly we live in a world of people.

Now, those others may or may not actually add to the story. So this leads me to the great question of whether to keep them or not.

As I revise, I look at all my characters. I inspect them. I search for their meaning.

I came across this tiny conversation of a couple students in Will’s, my main character, class and my first thought was WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? They had names…names I don’t remember giving anyone. I also knew that they were characters who will never be in the story again. I saw what I was trying to do. Trying to trigger Will into reacting, trying to play with his emotions to get him to do what I wanted.

But why use characters we’ll never see again?

So I cut that scene out. I don’t need stray names messing up the story.

I don’t need characters who don’t mean anything.

Those are easy to cut. I can see those scenes and get rid of them without batting an eye. I don’t need to force my main character into feeling things or reacting. He does that fine by himself.

Now at the beginning of revisions, I did have one character with a giant question mark above their head. My notes went something like “DO WE NEED GRAN IN THE STORY?”

Will’s mom died, so his maternal grandmother is visiting. Which made sense. But…she leaves and never comes back. I wanted her there for certain reasons…then questioned whether another character could take the role I wanted her to have. DOES SHE NEED TO BE IN THE STORY?

Sometimes…no, they don’t. If a character disappears in the middle of the story…never to be seen again…should they be there? I like things to link together. I like layers. So if a character isn’t adding to that…they should go.

However, I like Gran. I like what she says and what she adds to Will’s family dynamic. So I trusted my gut and left her in.

But the question remained…her life as a character teetered on the edge of nothingness. If I got through this revision pass and she merely remained a voice in the beginning and didn’t grow to mean anything more…then she’d be gone.

HOWEVER!

Inspiration struck. Gran has whispered something in my ear, and she is staying. I have discovered layers to this character. She has things to say, words Will will overhear that will stick with him and drive him. Suddenly I knew that Gran gets to be a recipient of the lost. (Long story short…Gran needs something that is lost, something Nowhere will give Will to give her.) This newly found scene allows me to grow Nowhere’s power, to add something new to that world. And to make Gran an important character.

VICTORY!

I’m really excited for this layer, to add more to this story. To make Will understand that Nowhere is there to help…to heal (something Ember has been trying to make him see).

Characters are important. Too many can muck up the story. But the right ones can add wonderful layers and meaning. You just have to figure out which ones to keep and which ones need to go.

Some extras will be easy to spot and get rid of. Some will be easy to keep. And some will be questions…so give them a moment to see if they have anything else to say, to prove their worth.

Stay weird!

Kathy

Puzzling Power

Last week saw me get through a few chapters. I took out scenes to save for later…and some that will more than likely never return. Am I sad about that? No.

I may have sorted the timeline. Or at least, made it make more sense fro the story. And that’s all that matters. So it’s ALL THE PUZZLING. Now that I have a plan…OH MY GOD NOT A PLAN! My poor little anti-outlining heart just died.

But yes…a plan.

I can move everything around then link it all together. I have to add the scenes I don’t have. And settle the others into place, while cutting out the scenes that don’t work.

I found in the beginning of this manuscript, I did a lot of talking. Characters talking to the main character. So much talking. Nice family moments, however I can use a lot less to create the family dynamic. Right now, the talking just kills the pacing.

The beginning of this story was also…very intense. The main character was very angry. So, I’m changing that, to lighten the beginning a bit, to ease the reader into the strong emotion that will eventually happen. I need his character to feel the anger to grow, for it to slowly become part of himself. Then explode.

This is my job, my goal. To get through the beginning and redo the timeline and have it all work together.

I’m focusing on my character arc and pacing. I’m focusing on making sure the beginning fast paced enough to keep the reader’s interest, but not too fast that they get overwhelmed. I’m focusing on how my character feels and how that changes and how that drives the story.

I’m puzzling. If I can bring the big picture into focus…I can fix the rest in future revision passes.

I made progress last week. I have an image of what this puzzle needs to look like. Now just to set the pieces in place.

Stay weird,

Kathy

I Am a Confused Turtle

When I started revising, I had a plan. I knew what I needed to change. I went in thinking I could get through it.

I lied to myself.

I do know what I want the timeline to be. I do know what I need to cut out to improve the pacing, but I needed to add a scene…which means dreaded drafting again. And the scene I added wasn’t working. When I slow down, when writing comes to a grinding halt I know it’s because something isn’t working.

But this time…I couldn’t figure out what it was.

So last week saw very little revising. Because I spent so much time staring and wondering and being very frustrated.

So this week I will persist. Hopefully in the typing and typing I figure out what I need to do. And if not…I guess future me and revision pass two will have a super fun time. Or maybe future-me will have the answer. Maybe this scene just isn’t meant for me to figure out now.

Ah. Writing.

Gotta get through the scene and into a whole lot of cutting and deleting. Then I can move on. The beginning of this manuscript is a mess and I know it. But I can see what it can be. So, I’ll keep working until I get it there.

Now, this is the sequel to my middle grade horror INTO THE GRAY…but some news…

INTO THE GRAY will be available until the end of my contract (Feb. 2025) and will then be wiped from existence on all selling sites. My contract is not being renewed because my publisher Spooky House Press is shutting down for the time being. It’s the world of publishing and things happen. Bad things. Sad things.

I’m not okay.

So if you have read my book and left a lovely review…THANK YOU! If you want a copy, go get one before they’re gone. It was a fun journey…

But it’s not done. Because I will not give up on the Nowhere series. What that means…I have no idea, but I will figure it out.

Stay weird,

Kathy

I Did Something, I Swear

Hi!

I know. I know. I missed last week. I got home from the Ghoulish Book Festival in San Antonio, Texas late on that Sunday and Monday did not find me very coherent.

First, though…THE GHOULISH BOOK FESTIVAL! Horror writers all came together to hang out and chat and laugh and sell books. A truly good time! Panels and books and meeting so many people I never get to see IRL. I bought some books. I sold a few books. And I talked and laughed until my voice almost gave out. It was the best.

Actually, all last week I was a bit out of it.

Which did not help my goal of getting these revisions complete.

I did a little. But mostly I slept and watched YouTube. And I’m not upset about it.

I did write a new little scene for this manuscript. A new conversation that needed to happen, words Will needed to hear. This also links to a bit in book three…thank goodness I drafted that.

Setting up for this week, I know what comes next in the story. Another new little scene. And as I scrolled ahead in the manuscript, I saw a bunch of stuff that needs to come out. Can you feel the delete key warming up? I can.

I do want this manuscript revised…so I can let it sit for a couple weeks, then go through it again…then send it to readers for their thoughts. I need this manuscript polished before the fall, cause I want to send it to my publisher and see if it is good enough to be a book.

*BIG SIGH*

Another fun thing…I’m going to Woodlan Jr/Sr High School to talk to 7th and 8th graders about writing. Which should be fun! But also terrifying. So, I’ve been working on my presentation. I’ve got about nine pages of HOW TO WRITE A BOOK. I’m going to talk to six classes over two days in April. AH!

So this week…my goals are to get that presentation polished up a bit, and work on my manuscript!

I got this.

Stay weird,

Kathy

A Little Progress is Still Progress

Last week my college kids were on spring break. Which means my daughter came home! So, my productivity went way down as I chatted and hung out with her. And I’m not upset. Someday she’ll move out, so I’ll take all the time I can get.

I did get through a couple of chapters. But mostly I stared at the at the screen. I’m fighting myself. I can feel it. And I can’t seem to stop it. What’s on the page doesn’t quite match with what my head thinks should happen next. But what’s on the page…kinda works. So…I’m overthinking. Again.

But I’m also waiting for my inner story guru to KNOW. Eventually, my gut will guide me. Though, it could take a while. So, I’ll move on. I’ll put in what I want and keep what I have and leave it. Hopefully on the next revision pass, I’ll have a better answer.

Hopefully.

But for now, something feels off. And I might have to let it stay that way.

For now.

I made a little progress. But it still counts.

And I had a lovely week with my daughter. Which is even better.

And this week? I’d love to tell you that I will be getting revisions done, but I’m headed to San Antonio, TX for the Ghoulish Book Fest!

I will be there Thursday through Sunday, chatting with horror friends, buying books, and selling my very own middle grade horror INTO THE GRAY!

I’ll also have bookmarks! My stickers probably won’t be ready, but I’ll have them at another event. Watch my home page for where you can find me.

I’m super excited about Ghoulish! I can’t wait to hang with my creepy friends.

Though getting ready to leave is going to interfere with writing. Because my brain will be very occupied. Flying is stressful. I’m limited to what I can bring. But I have to bring books to sell. And I have to have clothes.

Once I get going, I’ll be fine, but until then, I’ll be a bit panicked. It’s fine. That’s just how I roll.

I’ll do a bit on revisions, then let myself be panicked and excited for my trip.

Stay weird,

Kathy

Wandering the Land of Revisions

I trudged through the world of drafting, then I took a moment to have a couple cookies and stare at that black abyss and appreciate that I made it out.

On the road out of drafting lurks the town of revisions.

A town I like a bit better. Because I have words to work with. They might be the wrong words or the wrong scenes, but I have something.

The manuscript is now a puzzle. I love puzzles. The pieces are there…most of them. I can remove them or move them and find the missing ones to create the overall picture I want.

Welcome to the journey of first revision pass of Nowhere book 2…WITHIN THE BLACK.

It has begun.

Last week, I reviewed all my notes and opened the word doc…and had a moment of panic. Because I still hate that first chapter, whether drafting or revising, it haunts me.

After my moment, I started to read. And then read it again and again. First chapters are so important. To set up the character and the story. To get the right details. To get the tone.

But after a few reads, I let it go and went on to chapter two…knowing that I would return to chapter one. I would. We aren’t done yet.

Now chapter two was interesting. I read through it. I changed things. Then I got to the end and stopped.

WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER?

WHAT WAS THE POINT?

At the end of the first chapter, I set up getting through the next day…Sunday in the book world. Well, chapter two just continued with Saturday.

And this is how pacing dies, kids.

Chapter two had lovely family moments. A tiny little weird thing occurred. But overall…nothing really happened. Nothing that can’t be worked in later…or completely cut out.

So I took all of chapter two and put it in a cut file, so it’s still technically there, which makes my brain happy.

Then I went to chapter three…AKA the new chapter two. I worked some of the former chapter two into it, adding some of the family relationships into the story and in the end helping the pacing. AND THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

When looking at the manuscript, stepping back from it is key. Being able to look at pieces of the puzzle and decide if they are necessary is a big part of revisions. Maybe the scene is necessary, but later or earlier in the story. Maybe the scene is redundant. Maybe the scene doesn’t move the story at all and it just needs to go.

I love this part. I love moving things around and cutting things out and filling in the missing parts (though that is drafting, but don’t tell my brain).

Cutting chapter two also helps the whole MY MS IS TOO LONG thing. I would love to cut about 10K total. And it might happen in this revision pass or it might not. But it will happen.

So, this week…ONWARD WITH THE PUZZLING!

Side note: I want to share my experience at Scarelastic Book Fair at Scarlet Lane Brewing Company in McCordsville, IN.

This is its second year and WHAT A GREAT EVENT! Last year I went as a reader, buying all the books and getting them signed. This year I went as a reader (buying lots of books), but also as an author/seller. My very first time selling my own stuff! I took copies of my middle grade horror book INTO THE GRAY and bookmarks and I sold some! I talked to readers and librarians and bookstore owners. All that is super cool, but what’s really important is I got to hang with my horror people.

Go see the posts and pics on their FB page. And maybe I’ll see you there next year. Because I’ll be back.

Stay weird,

Kathy

Breaks are Nice

Last week I did NOT write.

Well, that’s a lie. I wrote a little something for a little cool thing I get to do. And maybe tried recording it. I haven’t heard back yet on how I did. Maybe I get to re-record it.

I worked on my sticker designs and got them done and sent to the printer.

STICKERS?

YES! I have created stickers inspired by my middle grade horror book INTO THE GRAY. And I hope to sell them at book events. Or gift them to kids who truly loved my book. I just have to wait to get them.

Who doesn’t want a Pink Kitty sticker?

Everyone wants one.

So last week, I drew. Which was so nice. I love to draw, but haven’t done it in a long time, and these stickers gave me the opportunity. And now that they’re done, I’ll have to find new inspiration. Like the image on my home page…my drawing. I want to add to it, adding images from my stories (published or not!). So I hope to watch the picture change and grow and fill up with my weird mind-stuff.

I love breaks.

Minds need them. There’s so much going on all the time, that moments to let it go are important. To finish the little things that you need time for, to watch movies, to read books, to stare at the world.

I read the ARC of Joshua Hull’s MOUTH…REALLY GOOD STORY! OMG. There are fresh starts for all the monsters.

Finished THE UNGODLY DUOLOGY by S.H. Cooper…super fun! Fighting evil festering ones and running from creepy things. The Daughters will never leave my head. Friendship and healing old wounds. Good stuff!

Am now reading THE BLACK SLIDE by J.W. Ocker…back to my favorite middle grade horror! This one gives me Silent Hill vibes, which I like! The Painful Place…really creepy and creative…good images. I’m enjoying Griffin’s story about trying to be strong.

Watched FREAKY…finally…the serial killer and teen girl switch bodies. THAT WAS FUN! Why didn’t I watch that sooner?

And SISTER DEATH…loved this one! Gimme haunted places and deep dark secrets.

Now I prepare to enter revision land where I will rip apart Nowhere book 2 WITHIN THE BLACK and piece together the story.

I love puzzling.

Luckily I know what some of the problems are. Pacing. The beginning is wrong. Need more character voice.

That’s where I’ll start.

Stay weird,

Kathy